More Fuel on the Vanities Bonfire…

I don’t write about ageing all that much, figuring it’s not that interesting to most readers. But I’m breaking the habit and getting on to the subject in this post- mostly because I have reached an age.

When I look back on milestone birthdays they have been memorable, although not always in positive ways. On my 21st my parents brought a gift to my tiny, shared, Wimbledon flat- [a black and white portable TV], and left again. The entire occasion was marred by a row with my [then] live-in boyfriend, whereupon I got very drunk on a cheap bottle of sherry [goodness knows where it came from]. I stormed out and on to a tube train going somewhere, rode it for a while and came back. The relationship, dear reader, did not last…

My 30th brought with it an offspring, my best gift.

I marked my own 40th with a party, but yet again a big relationship split ruined it, resulting in my meandering through the revellers, snivelling, with a bottle of champagne under my arm.

My 50th was remarkable. I got married and Husband threw a brilliant party in a hired barn bar with live music, stand-up comedy and a whole crowd of friends.

On my 60th we hosted a sedate garden party then flew off to Thailand for an amazing adventure. It was during my sixties, though, that I truly began to feel bodily frailty and an erosion of physical ability. I was obliged to give up daily running, modify exercise. I got diagnosed with a chronic disease and had to learn to manage it.

I began to write in earnest, penning my first novel, the huge buzz on completion unmatched by friends’ responses. [‘well done’ was the most lavish praise from most- who mostly failed to read it].

The 70th, a milestone just passed, has held both delights and horrors. Health scares and problems, only to be expected as we age, are no less frightening for that expectation. They still shock, still shake the ground under our feet. There’s a lot of twaddle written and said about ageing. ’70 is the new 50′, I was told. [it is not]. ‘It’s only a number’, ‘you’re as old as you feel’.

I still exercise, almost every day, although these days it’s alternate dance and Pilates, which I’ve learned to love, followed by garden work, walking or cycling. You can be forgiven for thinking that a healthy diet and regular exercise can stave off age-related diseases and give you a ripe old age. It may not always be so…

That said, there has been a series of beautiful and memorable 70th celebrations, some of which will be described in posts to come…

Grace is the alter ego of novelist and short story writer, Jane Deans. To date I have two published novels to my name: The Conways at Earthsend [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Conways-at-Earthsend-Jane-Deans-ebook/dp/B08VNQT5YC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ZHXO7687MYXE&keywords=the+conways+at+earthsend&qid=1673350649&sprefix=the+conways+at+earthsend%2Caps%2C79&sr=8-1 and The Year of Familiar Strangers [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Year-Familiar-Strangers-Jane-Deans-ebook/dp/B00EWNXIFA/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2EQHJGCF8DSSL&keywords=The+year+of+familiar+strangers&qid=1673350789&sprefix=the+year+of+familiar+strangers%2Caps%2C82&sr=8-1 Visit my writer Facebook page [https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=jane%20deans%2C%20novellist%2C%20short%20fiction%20and%20blog or my website: https://www.janedeans.com/

The Husband Post

Regular readers will know of Husband. He gets frequent mentions in posts, mainly due to being my significant other and travel companion, so that the events I’m involved in tend to involve him, too.

When you think of how detailed and intricate individual personalities are it’s surprising that any relationship endures beyond a week or two, let alone years. But, given a moderate number of interests in common and similar backgrounds after a few years people grow alike. I could never imagine sharing a small space like a camper van for weeks on end with anyone except Husband, and while we do have differences of opinion [who doesn’t?] we seem to manage.

We did not meet as fresh-faced teenagers, up-and-coming twenty-somethings or even high-achieving thirties career people-no we met as world-weary forties veterans of previous marriages and relationships, so the entire enterprise was a triumph of dogged hope over experience.

First impressions are telling. When we met, on a cold winter’s night in a pub, the attributes in Husband’s favour were:

  • His open, friendly, unpretentious, chatty manner.
  • His offering of crisps alongside the glass of port he bought.
  • His brown, leather, lace-up shoes. Men’s shoes are crucial to a first impression. Had he worn trainers, reader, he’d have been put down to experience.

During the first weeks Husband was unerringly persistent [in the face of my haphazard lifestyle at the time-another story]. On the way back from one of the first dates, his car [a Vauxhall Astra with a coat hanger for an aerial] developed a flat tyre. Without hesitation he pulled into a lay-by, whipped out the requisite equipment and changed the tyre so that within minutes we were on our way again-and all this late at night, too!

Husband Facts:

  • He is a devoted fan of Gloucester Rugby
  • He was a keen runner when younger, ran a number of marathons and now enjoys walking and cycling, except in cold weather-when his hands get cold.
  • One of his favourite activities is pottering about making what he calls ‘modifications’ to his pride and joy-the van.
  • He is a domestic god-and does not shy away from such chores as hoovering, washing windows and cooking.
  • He likes old rock/blues music, in particular The Rolling Stones but is not a fan of cinema. [He can be persuaded to watch a Bond film on occasion].
  • He likes beer [also red wine].
  • He is Dr Husband, having completed a PhD, post degree, a label I’m always hoping to capitalise when booking airline tickets but as yet with no success. His thesis, leather bound and languishing, as it has for years, on the bookshelves details his many experiments coating grains of wheat for some obscure purpose. I’m sorry to say I have not been able to read it.
  • Despite his impressive qualifications in botany, the number of garden plants Husband is able to name would fit easily on to an average sized postage stamp.

This weekend Husband is reaching a ‘milestone’ birthday. It is probable that he will be grumpy about this post, but that is a risk I’m taking and hope to be forgiven. For those who follow and have read of him, here he is:

Graham train

Happy Birthday Husband-here’s to the next adventure!